Sarcasm Circulating among the Taiwan blogs

This advertisement from the government asks riders to take care of their "nau dai gua" -- a local way to refer to the head and brain -- because it will split like a watermelon in an accident, "gua" being the word for melon.

A friend sent me this sarcastic description of Taiwanese life that has been circulating in the Taiwan blogosphere....

+++++++++++++++++

在台灣 ..
In Taiwan...

有資歷與學歷的人當官員，有財力與火力的人當議員。
People who possess both working experience and a diploma become government officials. And those with the power of money and the gun become legislators.

不怕死但最後一定會死的人當小弟，很怕死但最後絕不會死的人當大哥。
People who aren't afraid of death, but will eventually die become “little brother” bag-carriers. And for those who are afraid of death, but won't die in the end become “big brother” gangsters.

說謊不打草稿的當大官，說謊必須看稿的當小官，看稿還說不出謊的沒官當。
People who lie all the time even without preparing what they will say make themselves “big officials” in the government ranks. And those who lie but read their prepared speech anyway become little officials. Those cannot lie even when reading a prepared script have no post in the government at all.

女生長得好看什麼都會的當明星，女生長得好看什麼都不會的當脫星。
Naturally beautiful and capable girls become celebrities. Beautiful but incapable girls become strippers.

挨老師打之後才知道自己犯錯的是小學生，打了老師之後才知道自己犯錯的是中學生，根本就不知道自己犯了什麼錯的是大學生。
Those being punished by their teachers and then realize their mistakes are elementary school pupils. And those hitting their teachers and then realizing their mistakes are junior/high school students. And those not even knowing what the mistakes are are college students.

什麼都知道但最好別亂開口的，當財經官員。什麼都不知道但拼命亂開口的，當教育官員。 Those who know everything but keep their mouths shut are government officials working in the Ministry of Finance. Those who know nothing but boast every now and again are working in the Ministry of Education.

什麼都知道但被命令不能開口的，當教育人員。什麼都不知道所以一句話也不敢吭的，什麼官都能當。
Those who know everything but are ordered to keep their mouths shut are Education Ministry staff. Those who know nothing at all and have nothing to say have no post in any department.

有腦筋有能力的人當院長，有腦筋沒能力的人當部長，沒腦筋有能力的人當局長，沒腦筋沒能力的人當家長。
People with brains and ability become directors in the department. And those with brains but no ability become junior directors in the department. And those without brains but with ability become head of the office in the bureau of the department. And, last but not least, those without brains nor ability are parents in their own house.

想賺錢的就當醫師，想出名的就當律師，想活活氣死的就當老師，
If you want to be rich, be a doctor; if you want to be famous, be a lawyer; and if you want to die from rage, become a teacher.

阿..........想累死的就當工程師。
And, ahhh...if you want to die from work, be an engineer!
_______________________
[Taiwan] Don't miss the comments below! And check out my blog and its sidebars for events, links to previous posts and picture posts, and scores of links to other Taiwan blogs and forums!