Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Of Critters and Statues

Fun times on campus today....

I left my economics class at noon and threaded my way through the crowds of students on their way to the cafeteria, fending off requests for signatures, apologies for absences, and invitations to lunch. As I mounted the library steps I noticed a knot of students there taking photographs of the latest arrivals on our campus. I got out my camera, and as if on cue, this big fella wandered out into the crowd...



Beauty that he was, I got plenty of shots of him. He appears to be a variant of the giant wolf spiders one sometimes sees in houses and in yards:



The reason for the crowd was the installation of a series of sports-themed statutes on our campus (how the water buffalo below fit in I haven't the faintest clue). This one, with a codpiece that would make an elephant blush, had been installed in front of our library. I think he's supposed to be in a speedo swimsuit, but it looks more like underwear to me.



As if Mr. Bulge screaming out in agony were not scary enough, the university also had this statuary delivered, including the She-Monster Tortured on a Rack, with well-formed breasts but no genitals (pure sexism: if you're a man, you get a size E schlong, but if you are a woman, not even the merest hint of a cleft must be allowed). The poor woman looks like she's about to expire.




UPDATE: Saw them again today. They are apparently the work of a campus prof and do not have a sports theme. In case you thought they were made of some durable and worthy material such as bronze, like I did, you're wrong. They are made of a material appropriate for Taiwan: plastic.

Fortunately, a sumptuous golden orb spider has moved in down the street from us. Why the university can't install anything as beautiful as a spider is beyond me. We have a whole department devoted to design.....I think I'll suggest more spiders at the next meeting of the College of Humanities.



1 comment:

Jason said...

Question: Are they still selling the "Giant-Size Briefs" over there, the kind that look like regular speedo briefs, except with a pouch hanging out front for the nutsack? I seem to remember they advertised them as a sure-fire way to ensure the survival of sperm in torrid climates...